Well it's official now. Tomorrow I'll be going to see a counselor again
and getting back into therapy while I'm still home. I'll admit that I'm
nervous a little bit. Ever since being home, things just haven't been
nearly as bad as they were when I was in Denton. While they certainly
haven't gone away, I just have been distracted to think about them so
much. For one thing, I'm surrounded by family. That's one thing that has been problematic for me. I've felt lonely and now I don't feel lonely. I've got people who love me and I feel happy because of it. There's just something about being with family that makes everything seem less stressful even when I'm still stressed over things.
Things certainly have been better since I've been home. It generally always is. I've had moments still don't get me wrong. Yet, for some reason, I've still been able to get through them a bit better than when I'm alone.
Truth be told though, I've thought about things since being home. The drive home certainly was difficult for me since my mom and I discussed some of the things going on. It was difficult and it's still difficult to talk about some of these things. Just because I've been going to therapy at the Psychology Clinic on campus and talking to someone it's still difficult. I've certainly made progress but it's going to take time. Especially since I seem to find other things to talk about. There are still some things that no matter how much I talk about it, will still be difficult to bring up. For instance, the incident. That'll take a long time to get over. I don't think I really ever will but hopefully it'll get easier to talk about.
I feel as though I've pretty much shoved things aside while I've been home. Just put them away to deal with later. I guarantee that they'd show back up when I return to Denton. Of course at least I have help to deal with them. However, I don't know if I'd be willing to wait that long. Wouldn't it be better to confront them before I have to?
Which is why I'm going to see this person tomorrow. It was my parent's suggestion. They found the person for me because they were concerned about me. I figured that it would be helpful to have someone here in my hometown to talk with as well.
It's a scary thought though. I'm going to be forced to confront the things that I've essentially run away from. I thought that once I'd left Denton for a short while, that I wouldn't really have to deal with things but now I'm going to have to. It's better for me to though. At least I hope it will be.
