Adventures in Icy weather

So tomorrow evening and into Tuesday morning, there is a Winter Storm expected. Already an alert has been posted. According to a news report I read on Yahoo! news, sleet,freezing rain, and ice are expected with this storm.

This means that I better make sure I'm stocked up tomorrow and get what I need to get done then. If there's ice expected, there is no way I'm setting foot outside my apartment.

Thanks to living in Oklahoma for about 2 years, I've had my share of experiences with ice (and wintry weather in general) and none were very pleasant.

One experience was ironically on the first day of Spring last year. My mom and I were driving back to Oklahoma from New Mexico. Technically we were somewhere between Texas and New Mexico and not yet in Oklahoma when we ran into ice but still. I was driving and lost control of the car on a patch of black ice. We spun out but thankfully neither the car nor my mom and I were hurt. The car hit a snow drift on the side of the road.It was open field and there were no other cars to be seen anywhere.

The other experience happened during January 2009 when I was in Oklahoma at OSU (I might have mentioned it before). It starting sleeting one day and the roads and sidewalks got really icy. I had a class that afternoon and of course, the campus wasn't closed yet but my professor hadn't canceled either, which meant I had to brave the slippery sidewalks to get to class. That was experience. I lived only 2 blocks away from the campus which on a normal day would've taken me about 10 minutes to walk to class. I don't know how long it took me to walk that day. I know I left with plenty of time though but it still felt like forever. I tried to be extremely careful walking because I didn't want to fall. I managed to walk about a block sticking close to the buildings the entire time. Then I got to a crossing and there was nothing to hold on to. I struggled to cross because it was just too slick. I nearly fell twice just trying to cross. I even considered going back and not going to class but I didn't want to have the absence on my record if I could avoid it. I finally managed to get to class safely and without falling but it wasn't fun. To top it off when we were nearly finished with our class, the announcement came that they were closing the campus. Well, my professor had no choice but to let us leave since she had to get back to Tulsa anyway. So I had to make my way back on the icy sidewalks to my apartment. I finally made it back. But after that I told myself I would never go out when it was icy again if I absolutely did not need to. On a more positive note, at least I didn't have to go in to work that evening (I wasn't going to anyway, I would have called in. I didn't want to be driving on those icy roads). My boss had called and told me not to come in due to the bad weather.

So yeah. I've just made the decision to not go outside or anywhere when the roads and sidewalks are icy. It's not worth risking my safety.

High School Memories /Prom

One of my awesome, nerd friends that I recently met IRL just brought an interesting thing up on twitter that made me think. Apparently people are telling her that she needs to go to prom and experience at least one High School party before she graduates. This made me think about my own High School experiences. My senior year, I was hardly even at my high school. I was taking classes for dual credit at my community college and was only taking a few required classes. Because of me not being at my high school that much, I was more isolated. I didn't really know or really care what was going on at my high school. I was focused on finishing up and moving on. However, despite this fact, I still tried to do anything I could that I hadn't before. I wanted to make my Senior Year memorable. I went to the Homecoming Dance,Parade, Game,everything that I could. Half of the time I didn't enjoy it all that much but at least I went. For instance, the Homecoming Football Game. I am not a Football fan at all but I went for the experience and I was happy I did. The same thing when it came to Prom.
Now for Prom, I wasn't entirely that excited about it to begin with, especially when I learned that all my friends had dates and I didn't (not that I wanted one really as evidenced by my previous blog. I just wasn't interested). Still they were my friends and it was something that you get to experience once, so I went. It was nice because my parents helped make the experience more memorable for me. My mom helped me find a dress and she took me to get my hair done and both of them took me for a nice dinner someplace. I appreciate all they did for me and I'm glad they did it so I could experience Prom.

However, the experience wasn't a very cheerful one for me. In fact, it was horrible. I hated it. The music was horrible, my friends were too busy with their dates, I felt awkward being around them anyways since I didn't have a date; just overall the experience wasn't that great. I look back on it now and still feel that is was horrible but in a way I'm glad that I went. At least I got the experience despite the fact that it wasn't very postive.

I do have this to say to High School Seniors (Nerdy ones like I was) regarding things like Prom: Go and experience what you can. Even if it turns out to be horrible and you'd never want to experience it again, at least you can say you experienced it. Your last year of high school should be made memorable. You'll only get to experience it once.

Sorry. I'm not interested.

So something happened a couple of months ago that I would rather not talk about and that I would love to suppress the memory of and just erase it from my mind. It's something that I need to talk about but at the same time I feel I can't. I certainly can't talk about it with my family. Because I'm afraid that they might think I'm not safe where I live anymore or something to that effect. What happened isn't something extremely bad that happened but it still freaked me out and afterwards I felt guilty and that I brought it on myself. However, I know I didn't. Talking to a friend right after it happened helped. It's not so bad to talk about it now which is why I'm writing a blog now, it's just still something I can't talk about with my parents. It's something that got me thinking about.

So the short story is that a few months one of my neighbors tried to come on to me. He came over to check up on me (as a concerned neighbor might do) and we talked for awhile. As he left, he tried to kiss me. Twice! Part of me felt like maybe I brought this on myself. That perhaps I was too naive and felt so lonely, I gave off mixed signals? Who knows? The point is that I'm really not interested in a relationship with him or anyone. Especially not him. I was so shocked and confused and felt so ashamed and such after he did that, that I didn't know what to do. I'm sure I should get professional help and just talk to someone but I haven't yet. I know this sounds terribe to say, but ever since then I've been trying to avoid him. I've seen him but I really don't want to talk to him. I don't wish to be rude though. As a fellow neighbor, I want to be nice but after what occured it's hard for me to know exactly what to do.

It's this event that makes me think about other things like this. People have tried to come on to me. This neighbor isn't the only one. There was also someone during this past summer. The person suggested that if I was interested in it, we could be friends with benefits. It was awkward. I mean, I realize I'm old enough to have relationships but I'm just not interested right now. Right now I'm interested in finishing my degree and getting my life situated and all that before I even think about dating and relationships. Even in high school and when my friends started dating, part of me wanted to date and have a boyfriend but mostly I just didn't want to. I was too focused on graduating and moving on to college. I've been succesful at doing that. I've been succesful at achieving my goals and not letting anyone really distract me from doing that. I'll admit that at times I've thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend but then I think how much I enjoy not worrying about things like that. Sometimes when I feel lonely I wish I had someone like that. However, I also think about all the problems that come with the territory. I think about some of my ex-friends and classmates. Many of them are now married and/or have kids. Many of them are no longer in college too. I think about how far I've come and what I've accomplished simply by not having someone.
I eventually want to get married and have kids someday but just not right now. I do believe that part of the reason I'm so determined is also because my older brother did everything backwards and I don't want to be like him. He wants me to learn from his mistakes and I have. My brother didn't finish college and instead got married and had a kid. He did up going back to college and finishing his degree but it was harder than if he had done what I'm now doing. I saw that and how hard it was for him. I think that's what motivates me and has motivated me.

I should add an addendem to this whole not-being-interested thing. If there is a guy out there for me, I hope he realizes that my goal right now is to get my career going and that if I happen to meet him prior to my finishing my Master's that he supports me and understands that it's more important for me to finish before we can really have a relationship.
For now, I'm perfectly content just being focused on my goals.