Pre Eye Surgery emotions and thoughts

I'm scheduled to have eye surgery on Tuesday and I'm already getting nervous about it.  

It''ll barely be 1 month since I had my appendectomy. It fact the next day, at my post-op appointment, it will be exactly 1 month since.

I didn't really have much time to think about my last surgery. After all it was an emergency and I was both in too much pain and feeling too sick to worry much about it.  It was over before I really knew it.

This time is different however. I've been preparing for this surgery for almost a year now.  I was originally schedule to have the surgery over Winter Break but it didn't happen since there wasn't enough time.  I needed to be seen 2 weeks after the surgery and because of the holidays, it just wasn't possible. So now it's finally happening. 

I went in yesterday for my pre-op appointment. They took  a few measurements and such and also put some special prisms on my glasses. These prisms are supposed to simulate how my eyes will be like after surgery. Basically my doctor wanted to see how my brain will react to the surgery and this gives him some idea. The prisms seem to help with focusing.  I'm not having nearly as much trouble focusing on things. 

Before they had put the prisms on my glasses, they had done a test involving depth perception and I failed it. I felt a bit bad at first but it made them realize that my eyes really weren't focusing like they should be. After they mounted the prisms on my glasses, they ran the same test again and I was able to do the test. In other words, I was able to pass because I was using both of my eyes together.

The whole prism thing is to try and trick my brain into thinking it's basically already had the surgery. Get it to focus my eyes properly again.   My eye doctor wanted to see me again today just to see how I was reacting to the prisms. So that's where we went again today.  He ran some more tests and liked how I was reacting. At one point, he told me I was looking straight which is definitely a positive sign.  Again this is all with the prisms on my glasses.

I really can't see clearly. In fact, much of everything is fuzzy and hazy. It's not clear. But they did tell me that it was normal so that's good. I am further reassured that I'm focusing properly again because on the trip over I was able to watch the road and it didn't shift back and forth like it normally would. I'm not having to close my left eye in order to focus. Nor am I having to put my palm between my eyes in order to focus.

I'm going to continue wearing the prisms on my glasses throughout the weekend until the surgery which after that, they'll remove the prisms on my glasses. These mounted ones at least. There's a possibility I may have to have a slight prism put into my lenses to help further correct my eyes.

I also received my instructions for surgery yesterday.  I begin taking eye drops 4 times a day on Monday and then after surgery, I'll start taking an antibiotic twice a day for 7 days. 

I also won't be able to eat anything after midnight until after the surgery. Other things I won't be able to do are bend or lift anything heavy or go swimming for about a week!  Technically, I've already been restricted since my appendectomy so none of this is very new.  I basically fasted prior to my appendectomy. The last thing given to me was medicine with a little bit of water around probably
1:30 AM that morning. My surgery was around 9:30 then.  I've already not been able to do much at least for the 2 weeks since.

Really I've only been lifting a bit more and driving since last week. The reason for that was Phoenix Comicon. Still no swimming though. So basically I really only have had a 2 week window in which I've been able to do a little bit more. Granted I'm still recovering a bit from my appendectomy but the 2 week window has passed where I no longer have to worry so much about my stitches so much.

I didn't expect to be having 2 surgeries less than a month apart but here I am. One was expected but the other was unexpected. I'm basically getting all fixed up this summer!

I'm probably not as nervous as I could be. I'm nervous but I know the end result will help me in the end. Hopefully I'll be back to seeing normal again. Well, as normal as I can be.

There is one thing about surgery that makes me really anxious though. After the surgery, I'll be basically blind for a day because I'll have eye patches on both eyes. I won't be able to really see at all. Not until the next day when I go in for my post-op. I'll basically be helpless and at the mercy of my parents to help me.

I realize this isn't a big deal. Especially since it's only temporarily and for others it's not. But it does frighten me a bit. To basically put my trust in others. To know that I'll have to depend on my other senses for a little while. To not be able to see what exactly is going on around me. 

Just knowing that I'm going to basically be sightless if even only for a day seems to make me more appreciative for things I think.

I'm praying everything will go well and I feel pretty confident it will.  My eye doctor said a prayer with my mom and I today for a successful surgery which was very nice. I'm grateful for this.

I ask everyone to send their prayers please. Wish me luck on Tuesday.

*I plan to do a write up later along with some other write-ups that I still need to finish up*