Stuffed friends

Ok, I'll admit it. I still sleep with a stuffed animal. In fact, I sleep with several stuffed animals on my bed. I have a fairly good size collection.

There's one stuffed animal in particular that I tend to sleep with more than others though and that's my Watercolor bunny named "Splash". I made her last year at Build-A-Bear soon after I had my appendectomy. It was my first build and I was such a little kid making her. I was so happy and excited. I had a lot of fun!

Now I have a collection here at my parents house with me. 5 of the animals are my own builds, 1 virtual build (I purchased her online); 1 is a build that my nephew made for me; the rest, I've adopted from thrift stores.  I have several small fry animals which are mini versions of Build-A-Bear animals. I also have several Build-A-Bear friends in storage.

I can't help it. I love stuffed animals. They're very comforting to me. Especially since being diagnosed with mental health issues. Any time I feel sad or anxious, I hug my animals and it helps me feel a lot better.

Ever since I was diagnosed, I noticed that I tend to gravitate more toward my stuffed animals. I find myself feeling the need to cuddle with them more.

There's just something about a stuffed animal that makes everything better for me. I guess when I think about it, it's a connection to my childhood and feeling comforted by a stuffed friend.

When I was younger, I had a small doll that rattled and called her "Rattle Baby". I had her for the longest time. She was well loved and I eventually had to put her away because she was just getting too worn out. I got another stuffed friend. A white rabbit that I named "Fluffy". It was a rabbit that I had gotten around the time my older brother moved away to Florida. The rabbit was a fairly big size and once again, I had it for the longest time.  I added more stuffed friends to the mix: a bean bag cat, a Tweety Bird, a small elephant I'd won as a prize from Peter Piper and named "Lucky". I eventually put all the others away and went back to just my rabbit. It got to the point where I had to put my rabbit away too.

There were times I didn't sleep with any stuffed friends. And for quite some time.  But eventually I started seeking comfort again and went back to sleeping with a stuffed friend.

Especially last year;my last semester of graduate school, when I started feeling really down and sinking into a depressive state. I needed comfort and I didn't have anyone. I was alone. I didn't have any friends and I was away from home.  So I turned to my stuffed animals.

I found comfort in them. They helped me not feel so alone. They comforted me during the nights when the tears just wouldn't stop falling.  They help me feel calmer when my anxiety was just going crazy.

My stuffed friends still do that for me. So what if I'm an adult. For me, my stuffed friends are therapeutic They help me deal with my anxiety and depression. In some ways, they help me fight it. They help me battle my inner demons and make me feel stronger and not so alone.

My stuffed friends help me feel truly safe and make me feel comfortable about my mental health struggles. They are the only other ones who have been there for me besides my therapist.

I still have my bad days but I seek comfort in knowing that just hugging my stuffed bunny or any of my other friends, can make me feel better.  My stuffed friends have become a big part of my recovery process. I know my collection of stuffed friends has grown since being diagnosed but yet, each one of them is important to me.

If anyone reading this also struggles with depression or anxiety or any other mental health issue, I encourage you to find a stuffed animal or another comfort object. Something that makes you feel "safe" and "secure". Sometimes I feel it's the only thing I need to feel better.

I'm not ashamed of it either and neither should anyone else be. If you need something to help you feel better, then go for it.