On Thursday, my parents and I went out of town to Las Cruces to pick up my new replacement laptop from Best Buy. It didn't take very long for me to get my new laptop and since it was close to lunchtime, we decided to have lunch at Si Senor. After lunch, we headed to the mall to walk around for a bit and window shop.
At one point, I decided to check out Hot Topic and let my parents go ahead. I wasn't in the store very long but my parents were quite a ways ahead when I got out. I was passing by a cart and just looking around when the salesperson stopped me. He said I had dropped something and I thought I actually had. It turns out it was just a cheesy thing to get me to talk to him. I "had dropped my beautiful smile". I laughed it off and was going to keep walking but he started talking to me and I didn't know how.
He introduced himself to me and got me to sit down while he talked about the product he was selling. He wasn't mean or anything about it. To be honest he was charming and I know that's what got me. The product he was selling was a facial cleaner and he demonstrated what it did. In my mind, I was just wondering how soon I could tell him I wasn't interested and get away.
Finally he got to talking about the deal he was offering that day and luckily I had an excuse. I told him I would be interested but I couldn't take his offer today because I didn't have the funds for it. I told him I was a student and trying to find a job. I thanked him for the information and apologized and I was finally free to go.
But afterwards, I got this nagging feeling. I was also upset with myself for letting myself get worked into this. I just couldn't get it off my mind and I still can't.
It finally occurred to me what it was about this situation that was bothering me. It was triggering for me. It brought back the memories of what happened to me. Briefly but still. I couldn't help but relate it to that. I was taken advantage of and I had let someone take advantage of me because I was too nice.
That's the problem. I'm too nice and polite to say no. I let myself get talked into having the sales guy demonstrate his product to me. It was stupid and I regret it despite the fact that nothing bad happened.
I still can't get off my mind. This has triggered bad memories for me. Not horribly but still.
It makes me feel as though I have extremely low self-esteem and can be easily charmed by a guy telling me how pretty I am. Because that's what seemed to have happened. I'm too nice and polite to people at times and I know that's part of my problem.It makes me vulnerable.
I thought I was pretty good about letting people know I wasn't interested but I guess in reality, I'm not as good.
I've tried to shake this feeling and what happened but I'm having trouble doing so. I don't really get why something this simple is making me feel the way I am.
But then again, perhaps I do get why at the same time.
No comments:
Post a Comment