Wednesday, January 25, 2012

*This Star Won't Go Out (TSWGO)*

Last night I finished a bracelet with TSWGO on it in remembrance of Esther Earl who was a nerdfighter with cancer. They sell bracelets on DFTBA records but I wanted to make one of my own since it's one of my crafty talents.

However, I feel like a bad nerdfighter because I don't know much about who Esther Earl was or why she was so important to the nerdfighter community.  I feel guilty because I don't know who she was. All I know is the brief look and information I got from the Vlogbrothers and the FiveAwesomeGirls. That's all I know about her.  Her legacy has lived on in the nerdfighter community since her death and while I support what the community has done for her and try to give my support, it almost feels like an empty gesture. I feel like I'm giving support  to a stranger that I know absolutely nothing about. 

I know this makes me sound like a horrible person but it's the truth. I didn't know Esther at all like a lot of people in the nerdfighter community did. I realize her passing had an impact on many of those that knew who and didn't know her. It's sad that she passed while she was still so young. Yet I feel bad because I don't feel sad about it. I didn't know her and didn't get to know her even though I also spent a lot of time online.

It was sad to hear about her passing but I didn't feel it that much. It was sad but it didn't effect me. I went on with my life like usual. 

I guess part of me doesn't understand why she became so important. Why she is essentially the Poster child of Nerdfighteria for those who have/had cancer.  She must have done a lot for Nerdfighteria to achieve this role and yet I don't even know what she's done.

Nerdfighters are all over and come in many varieties. My thinking is that how does one person become so prominent when I'm sure there are other nerdfighters fighting cancer as well. 

I guess because I never knew her and wasn't nearly as active as I thought, I don't really understand it.

But that doesn't mean I don't support it. 

This Star Won't Go Out


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