A long time

Ever since being officially diagnosed with depression, I can't help but wonder why it took so long for me to be diagnosed. I realize it's a tricky thing to diagnose. But still, I wonder why it took this long when I know I've been struggling for quite some time.

There's enough evidence to show that I've been struggling.  Just look at my blog posts here and on my writing Tumblr. You can see it.

In fact it was one of my good friends that was the first to suggest I might need medicine to help me. She suggested this quite a while back ago too. She could see how much I was struggling and had experienced some of the same things herself. She picked up on some things, long before a therapist ever did.

I've been in therapy/counseling for some time. Yet, none of my therapists or counselors ever seemed to pick up on the fact I might have depression. Or if they did, they never mentioned it to me. I don't blame them at all though.  I just wish they would have picked up on the fact earlier. Perhaps then things would be a bit better right now. I wouldn't have had to wait so long for me to start truly feeling better.Then again perhaps the early signs just weren't there at the time.

When I first sought counseling I had other things going on that took me there in the first place. None of it really doing with depression. I don't really feel like I was suffering from depression. I've said before how I felt I was borderline for depression and I felt like that for quite a while. Yet, still my therapists didn't say anything to me. It wasn't until my last semester; Fall 2012 semester, that I really felt like I went over that line. I felt like I really started feeling the symptoms of depression.

Things just seemed to get worse from there. I really hit a low point and no matter what I did, I just couldn't shake it off.  Things just added to my struggles when I had to move back home after failing to get a job there in Denton.

I had to get help and fast. I was not getting any better and having important decisions to make was making things even harder. By this point, I strongly suspected that I was suffering from depression.  Too many signs were there.

My first session with my new therapist and she pretty much confirmed it for me then. By our second session, she further confirmed it and suggested that I might need an antidepressant to help me out even more.

All this time or at least for the last year, and not once did anyone ever consider it. Although, I've said before that I believe my last therapist was about to diagnose me but we ran out of time. 

One session with this therapist and she was able to tell right away.  It took this long for me to find the answers and help I've been needing. It took all this time for me to start getting on the road to normalcy again.  To start feeling better.

I guess they just didn't see it. Perhaps I wasn't showing the typical early signs at the beginning and by the time they picked up on the idea that I might be struggling with depression, it was too late. Meaning that I had moved away.

I don't know how much things would be different had I been diagnosed earlier. Certainly things would be much easier for me right now. I wouldn't be having as much trouble making certain decisions.

The point is that while it took me some time to be officially diagnosed, I have finally been diagnosed. I can stop wondering so much. I have an answer now.