Medication

So today I took my first dose of antidepressant and I'll admit that I was quite nervous about taking it. But I've taken it and hopefully once I start adjusting to it, things will start to improve.

Let me backtrack a bit and explain how I got here.

At my therapy session earlier this week,Tuesday, my therapist suggested that I might need to be put on medication for my depression and anxiety. She recommended I see my regular doctor and ask her about it. Telling my doctor that I was in counseling and my therapist felt it might help with my anxiety and depression.

At our first session, we had talked about the possibility of me having depression.  I told her all these things I'd been feeling and she asked me questions. It was at that first session that she pretty much confirmed that I did have depression. Then at our next session, we talked some more and I'm pretty sure some of the things I told her just added to her confirmation. 

It was at our session this week that she recommended I try medicine. So my doctor prescribed some medicine for me.

My therapist also suggested I try drinking some calming hot teas to help me with my anxiety. So I'm also doing that to help.

I'm now on medicine and of course it's going to take some time to kick in. However, I do feel a little bit different right now. Maybe it's already working a little bit? Possibly?

Anyways, it probably doesn't help that right now, I'm on a few other medicines as I currently have a sinus infection and am taking medicine for that.

I just hope this medicine will help. It's not that I'm against taking medicine for my mental health issues, I just didn't think I was that bad to where I needed medicine.

However, if my therapist thinks it'll help then I'll take it. I feel she has my health and best interests in mind. I trust her. She knows that people don't like the idea of medicine and I know she wouldn't suggest it if she honestly didn't think it would help me.

Another thing she told me was that sometimes just counseling doesn't always work. Sometimes people need more help and that's where medication comes in. She doesn't suggest it for everyone but just for some people.

Considering how long I've been in therapy, despite it being off and on and with different therapists,  it does seem like I need something more than just counseling.  Things have improved since I first started going to counseling but not much.

Obviously my mental health issues are not getting better with just counseling. There's something more to them. My mental health issues are more complex than I realized.

I certainly need something though and if medicine is going to help, then I'm ok with it. Not that it makes it any easier knowing that to feel at ease taking it.

I mean, I take another medicine to help with another medical issue but this is different. Sorta. It's supposed to help me with my anxiety and I'm a bit anxious about taking it.  I guess it's just because it's new and I guess for what's it for.

Perhaps it's something to do with the stigma of the whole idea of taking medicine for mental health. I don't know if that has anything to do with some anxiety I have about taking it.

Whatever the reason though, I'm still going to take the medicine and hopefully it's going to help.  I need something to help me that's for sure. Counseling itself can only help so much.