It looks like this year, there isn't going to be much of an Independence Day/4th of July holiday.
First of all, my brother and his family aren't able to come here to celebrate the holiday with my parents and I. Because the holiday falls on a Monday, they wouldn't be able to stay since they must return to work the next day. We've spent the holiday together the past couple of summers at least. I will be strange not to have them here.
Second, even if they were able to spend the holiday with us, it wouldn't do much good. New Mexico has several wildfires currently occurring around the state. It's just so dry here from lack of moisture that a small spark can start a big fire. Because of this, the Governor has requested that residents not buy or shoot off personal fireworks this weekend. Several counties have also banned fireworks due to the extreme fire danger. Just last night, at least 3 retail stores have pulled fireworks from their store shelves: Smith's, Albertson's, and Wal-mart. This is all across the state. We aren't buying any fireworks ourselves because of all this. Another reason the 4th isn't going to be as exciting.
And finally, just a few minutes ago, I found out the city fireworks are going to take place on Sunday instead of Monday. My mom told me she had read this in the local paper. I guess it's because of the holiday falling on the first day of the work week. So now with the city fireworks happening on the 3rd and not the 4th, the request (almost ban) of personal fireworks, and some family members missing, the 4th is shaping up to be just another day off. There's almost no purpose to celebrating on the 4th. It's just another day except that everyone is off. I don't even think we're doing anything special as far as a cookout. There's usually a parade the day of but it's not that exciting and is mostly just a bunch of political parties campaigning.
To me Independence Day is just not going to be the same this year. America's birthday isn't going to be much celebrated here. It does bother me. It's almost pointless to even celebrate (even though I will try). What's Independence Day without some sort of celebration?
EDIT: Our city's Independence Day parade is taking place on Saturday not Monday. So there really isn't anything happening on the 4th to celebrate now. *sigh*
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Not wanting to go back to Denton...
For some reason tonight, I have just been in a depressed mood. I've been so close to crying (and have shed a few tears already) and I really can't understand why. For some reason, I think the fact that my nephew getting ready to leave just makes me realize that pretty soon I will be leaving again too. Why the idea of leaving again has hit me so hard tonight is beyond me.
So my nephew and my parents and I will be driving to Arizona on Monday and will be there for a couple of days. Normally my brother and sister-in-law would drive here to NM over the 4th of July to celebrate the holiday with us and then drive back with my nephew. However, because the 4th falls on an awkward day this year, it doesn't work out. Since my dad has an appointment at a clinic there in Arizona, it makes sense for us just to take my nephew back a week early. So that's what we are doing.
Despite the fact that he annoys me sometimes and I get frustrated with him, I really really love my nephew and enjoy it when he's here. The fact that it'll be a lot quieter after he's gone just really makes me sad and makes me realize how fast this month has gone. I still have time to enjoy with my parents but still, it will certainly be quiet with my nephew gone.
I guess the problem is that the quiet makes me feel lonelier. The quiet reminds me of being in my own apartment in Denton. It's just a whole chain reaction thing. I can't help but think about leaving myself now that my nephew will be leaving. I think about returning back to my quiet apartment where I'm alone. I don't like thinking about it and try hard not to but sometimes it hits me. Quite honestly, if I really had the choice, I'm not sure I'd want to go back. Thinking about my apartment and being alone also brings up what happened.
Right now I feel safe. Right now I feel happy. Honestly, I'm scared to go back. I realize I'm an adult but still. Sometimes I long to be a carefree innocent child again. That's not going to happen.
I wouldn't be surprised if the fear is partly because I haven't told them what happened. I don't feel like I can yet. While I know I'd be sad to leave regardless if this hadn't happened, but I'm more reluctant to leave because it did happen. Going back means going back to the memories of what happened and being afraid it will happen again.
Really though, I shouldn't be thinking about it yet. I still have at least another month and a half before I head back. I need to not think about it and just enjoy the time I have left.
So my nephew and my parents and I will be driving to Arizona on Monday and will be there for a couple of days. Normally my brother and sister-in-law would drive here to NM over the 4th of July to celebrate the holiday with us and then drive back with my nephew. However, because the 4th falls on an awkward day this year, it doesn't work out. Since my dad has an appointment at a clinic there in Arizona, it makes sense for us just to take my nephew back a week early. So that's what we are doing.
Despite the fact that he annoys me sometimes and I get frustrated with him, I really really love my nephew and enjoy it when he's here. The fact that it'll be a lot quieter after he's gone just really makes me sad and makes me realize how fast this month has gone. I still have time to enjoy with my parents but still, it will certainly be quiet with my nephew gone.
I guess the problem is that the quiet makes me feel lonelier. The quiet reminds me of being in my own apartment in Denton. It's just a whole chain reaction thing. I can't help but think about leaving myself now that my nephew will be leaving. I think about returning back to my quiet apartment where I'm alone. I don't like thinking about it and try hard not to but sometimes it hits me. Quite honestly, if I really had the choice, I'm not sure I'd want to go back. Thinking about my apartment and being alone also brings up what happened.
Right now I feel safe. Right now I feel happy. Honestly, I'm scared to go back. I realize I'm an adult but still. Sometimes I long to be a carefree innocent child again. That's not going to happen.
I wouldn't be surprised if the fear is partly because I haven't told them what happened. I don't feel like I can yet. While I know I'd be sad to leave regardless if this hadn't happened, but I'm more reluctant to leave because it did happen. Going back means going back to the memories of what happened and being afraid it will happen again.
Really though, I shouldn't be thinking about it yet. I still have at least another month and a half before I head back. I need to not think about it and just enjoy the time I have left.
High School friends...
So tonight I was on Facebook and I started exploring some pages of some friends of mine and some other people I knew from high school. It really started off by a high school friend of mine becoming recent friends with a friend of ours from middle school. Using my skills as a librarian, I was able to find many of my high school friends and find out things about them.
Turns out several of my classmates are married now or have kids. For me this whole idea is just weird. I've said before how I'm just not interested in that type of thing right now but it's amazing to see just how many people are. Some of them have moved. Quite a few of them have graduated (there's some that haven't) and have moved on to bigger and better things (a doctorate degree in one of my friends cases). It's weird looking at their information. I mean I haven't been out of high school really that long but then again I guess I have been.
It's not like I haven't kept in some contact with high school classmates. I keep up with some of them. Mainly the ones I knew in middle school and the ones I hung out with the most in high school. Basically, my best friends back then. I've also kept in contact or at least my parents have with some of my acquaintances from when I was younger. Some of them still live in my hometown or their parents still do. Of course, in a small town, you'll run into these parents at some time or another and because of our shared pasts (I was friends with their daughters), you can't help but get information.
For instance some of those people quit college. Now they are married and moved away or have a kid. Things I wouldn't have thought from some of these people but it happened. I know my parents can't help but be proud of me and my accomplishments when they hear about my old friends, I know their parents are also proud of me and honestly, I'm sure they compare their children to me wishing they could be like me (I've heard something like this from a friend's parents before).
Yet, looking at this information makes me think about the fact that a lot has changed for many of my classmates over the years. I still can't believe that I've already graduated with one degree and am currently working on another.
Looking at Facebook pages and photos of old classmates, I can't help but think about things and how much people have changed. It bothers me because I feel like I haven't changed that much when I compare myself to them. I don't look a whole lot different than I did nearly 5 years ago when I graduated high school. I mean I am different but at the same time,not really. Many of my classmates seem older to me. Me on the other hand, not so much.
I have changed. I've experienced a lot of things in my life since graduating high school. Yet I don't feel much different nor look much different. Sometimes I can't help but wish that things were different.
Yet there is one thing I wouldn't change. I wouldn't change my plan for accomplishing my goals. So far I've been so focused on getting my degrees before I ever think about dating or getting married or even having kids. So far, it's worked in my favor and so far for the most part,everything has gone according to plan. I'm really not interested in deviating from my plan at the moment and I really don't intend to anytime soon.For me I'm not ready to go that way.
Some of my classmates obviously don't think the same way since they've gotten married and such. But then they were probably ready. Maybe for some they are now regretting their decisions. For me, I don't regret any of my choices. I'm happy with where I am now.
So I guess it really doesn't matter if I haven't changed that much. I have though even though I may not look it on the outside. I've accomplished what I've wanted to so far in my life. I've stuck to MY plan and I plan to continuing doing so.
Turns out several of my classmates are married now or have kids. For me this whole idea is just weird. I've said before how I'm just not interested in that type of thing right now but it's amazing to see just how many people are. Some of them have moved. Quite a few of them have graduated (there's some that haven't) and have moved on to bigger and better things (a doctorate degree in one of my friends cases). It's weird looking at their information. I mean I haven't been out of high school really that long but then again I guess I have been.
It's not like I haven't kept in some contact with high school classmates. I keep up with some of them. Mainly the ones I knew in middle school and the ones I hung out with the most in high school. Basically, my best friends back then. I've also kept in contact or at least my parents have with some of my acquaintances from when I was younger. Some of them still live in my hometown or their parents still do. Of course, in a small town, you'll run into these parents at some time or another and because of our shared pasts (I was friends with their daughters), you can't help but get information.
For instance some of those people quit college. Now they are married and moved away or have a kid. Things I wouldn't have thought from some of these people but it happened. I know my parents can't help but be proud of me and my accomplishments when they hear about my old friends, I know their parents are also proud of me and honestly, I'm sure they compare their children to me wishing they could be like me (I've heard something like this from a friend's parents before).
Yet, looking at this information makes me think about the fact that a lot has changed for many of my classmates over the years. I still can't believe that I've already graduated with one degree and am currently working on another.
Looking at Facebook pages and photos of old classmates, I can't help but think about things and how much people have changed. It bothers me because I feel like I haven't changed that much when I compare myself to them. I don't look a whole lot different than I did nearly 5 years ago when I graduated high school. I mean I am different but at the same time,not really. Many of my classmates seem older to me. Me on the other hand, not so much.
I have changed. I've experienced a lot of things in my life since graduating high school. Yet I don't feel much different nor look much different. Sometimes I can't help but wish that things were different.
Yet there is one thing I wouldn't change. I wouldn't change my plan for accomplishing my goals. So far I've been so focused on getting my degrees before I ever think about dating or getting married or even having kids. So far, it's worked in my favor and so far for the most part,everything has gone according to plan. I'm really not interested in deviating from my plan at the moment and I really don't intend to anytime soon.For me I'm not ready to go that way.
Some of my classmates obviously don't think the same way since they've gotten married and such. But then they were probably ready. Maybe for some they are now regretting their decisions. For me, I don't regret any of my choices. I'm happy with where I am now.
So I guess it really doesn't matter if I haven't changed that much. I have though even though I may not look it on the outside. I've accomplished what I've wanted to so far in my life. I've stuck to MY plan and I plan to continuing doing so.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Questioning my future as a mother
So I'm not even remotely interested at the moment in becoming a mother. I'm not even interested in dating. As I've said numerous times, I'm too focused on getting my Master's degree and starting my career before I ever start dating.
Something today happened that has made me question my future as a mother and really just as possibly a wife as well. Tonight my mom made spaghetti for dinner and my nephew who is extremely extremely picky does not like tomato pieces in his spaghetti sauce. My mom did the best she could at tried to smash up the pieces and making sure he didn't have any on his plate. Unfortunately she missed one and of course, my nephew found it. He tried to give it to me but I told him to just eat it. It's not going to hurt him to eat just one. I couldn't help it. I love my nephew so much but it's so ridiculous how picky he is.
Apparently I upset him because he wouldn't speak to me or anyone else after that. Which of course, made me feel bad because I feel as though I'm always doing something to make him upset with me. I blamed myself for what happened and as a result, I got upset. If you've been reading some of my blogs, than you know this is sort of been a problem for me. I feel guilty about things even when it's not my fault. After awhile, my mom talked to my nephew. He was upset because I nag him about things a lot.
I guess I do. It's not like I try to do it on purpose or anything. Part of the reason I think I do is because he never really listens to me. In his eyes, I'm a playmate and not an authority figure despite the fact that I'm 10 years older and an adult. Also, now that he's passed me in height, he feels that I'm not really older.
Eventually we worked things out but I can't still help but think about me nagging him. I feel as though if I can't take care of my nephew, how can I expect to ever take care of my own child in the future. As it is, I barely have patience for spending time with Kindergartners. My student teaching showed me that teaching wasn't for me. Yet, I'm still wanting to work with children but in a library setting. That's what I'm working on; a Youth Librarianship degree. There's certainly conflict regarding this. I mean I like children but I have trouble dealing with discipline and being patient with them. Perhaps this is one reason why I never really babysat when I was in high school. I had certification by the American Cross and everything but never really babysat other than for my nephew and even then it was only ever for a short while. I guess part of me was afraid. I wanted to babysit but just never did.
I realize that people can change when they have children of their own. However, I fear that I wouldn't be able to. Maybe I'm truly making a mistake going into the children's part of the library (I really don't believe I am though). As much as I want to someday have children of my own, I wonder sometimes if I would even make a good mother. Who knows? Perhaps I'm destined to work with children but never have my own. I sure hope not.
I have things to work on in the meantime. I hope that I can learn to someday be a good mother like my mom has been to me.
Something today happened that has made me question my future as a mother and really just as possibly a wife as well. Tonight my mom made spaghetti for dinner and my nephew who is extremely extremely picky does not like tomato pieces in his spaghetti sauce. My mom did the best she could at tried to smash up the pieces and making sure he didn't have any on his plate. Unfortunately she missed one and of course, my nephew found it. He tried to give it to me but I told him to just eat it. It's not going to hurt him to eat just one. I couldn't help it. I love my nephew so much but it's so ridiculous how picky he is.
Apparently I upset him because he wouldn't speak to me or anyone else after that. Which of course, made me feel bad because I feel as though I'm always doing something to make him upset with me. I blamed myself for what happened and as a result, I got upset. If you've been reading some of my blogs, than you know this is sort of been a problem for me. I feel guilty about things even when it's not my fault. After awhile, my mom talked to my nephew. He was upset because I nag him about things a lot.
I guess I do. It's not like I try to do it on purpose or anything. Part of the reason I think I do is because he never really listens to me. In his eyes, I'm a playmate and not an authority figure despite the fact that I'm 10 years older and an adult. Also, now that he's passed me in height, he feels that I'm not really older.
Eventually we worked things out but I can't still help but think about me nagging him. I feel as though if I can't take care of my nephew, how can I expect to ever take care of my own child in the future. As it is, I barely have patience for spending time with Kindergartners. My student teaching showed me that teaching wasn't for me. Yet, I'm still wanting to work with children but in a library setting. That's what I'm working on; a Youth Librarianship degree. There's certainly conflict regarding this. I mean I like children but I have trouble dealing with discipline and being patient with them. Perhaps this is one reason why I never really babysat when I was in high school. I had certification by the American Cross and everything but never really babysat other than for my nephew and even then it was only ever for a short while. I guess part of me was afraid. I wanted to babysit but just never did.
I realize that people can change when they have children of their own. However, I fear that I wouldn't be able to. Maybe I'm truly making a mistake going into the children's part of the library (I really don't believe I am though). As much as I want to someday have children of my own, I wonder sometimes if I would even make a good mother. Who knows? Perhaps I'm destined to work with children but never have my own. I sure hope not.
I have things to work on in the meantime. I hope that I can learn to someday be a good mother like my mom has been to me.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
A Problem Obsession?
I am obsessed with Harry Potter. I'll just admit that right now. My family knows it and my friends know it. It's not like it's a big secret or anything. It's almost like Harry Potter has become synonymous with my name.
Tonight, I was on Facebook and saw the newest Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 trailer. I got so excited that I was squealing in anticipation. My dad overheard this and pretty much told me to Get off of this Harry Potter obsession. It made me a bit upset to hear this. I know I'm obsessed but I'm not that obsessed.
Harry Potter is a big part of my life and has been ever since I first read the books. I love Harry Potter. There's just something about it that has gotten me hooked. I have other relatives that are just as excited as I am about seeing the movie (including my mom). My dad hasn't read the books and isn't much of a reader so he really doesn't understand the excitement about it or why I'm so obsessed.
I agree that I have obsessions but it's not to the point where I let my obsessions control my life. I don't think about Harry Potter 24/7. Right now I pretty much do because I'm super excited about the movie coming out and I'll be seeing it with family. Otherwise though I don't spend all my time thinking about Harry Potter. I have other interests to keep me busy.
I just happen to be the type of person that obsesses about things that I like rather than just simply liking them. I realize that there's a point a which an obsession can become unhealthy but I honestly haven't reached that point and don't think I ever will. What's wrong with having obsessions? What's wrong with enjoying things a lot more than normal? I can't help it.
Maybe I am a borderline case. I could go that far but I haven't. For me, I think the reason I obsess about things is because I'm a bit geeky. Geeks (and nerds!) tend to obsesses about things like this. I've already admitted that I'm socially awkward type of person and perhaps this is why I'm obsessed with things like Harry Potter.
Am I really that obsessed to the point that it's unhealthy? I don't feel as though I am. My dad just doesn't understand it. It's something he is unfamiliar with. However, I beg my friends to do whatever possible if my obsessions ever go that far.
Tonight, I was on Facebook and saw the newest Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 trailer. I got so excited that I was squealing in anticipation. My dad overheard this and pretty much told me to Get off of this Harry Potter obsession. It made me a bit upset to hear this. I know I'm obsessed but I'm not that obsessed.
Harry Potter is a big part of my life and has been ever since I first read the books. I love Harry Potter. There's just something about it that has gotten me hooked. I have other relatives that are just as excited as I am about seeing the movie (including my mom). My dad hasn't read the books and isn't much of a reader so he really doesn't understand the excitement about it or why I'm so obsessed.
I agree that I have obsessions but it's not to the point where I let my obsessions control my life. I don't think about Harry Potter 24/7. Right now I pretty much do because I'm super excited about the movie coming out and I'll be seeing it with family. Otherwise though I don't spend all my time thinking about Harry Potter. I have other interests to keep me busy.
I just happen to be the type of person that obsesses about things that I like rather than just simply liking them. I realize that there's a point a which an obsession can become unhealthy but I honestly haven't reached that point and don't think I ever will. What's wrong with having obsessions? What's wrong with enjoying things a lot more than normal? I can't help it.
Maybe I am a borderline case. I could go that far but I haven't. For me, I think the reason I obsess about things is because I'm a bit geeky. Geeks (and nerds!) tend to obsesses about things like this. I've already admitted that I'm socially awkward type of person and perhaps this is why I'm obsessed with things like Harry Potter.
Am I really that obsessed to the point that it's unhealthy? I don't feel as though I am. My dad just doesn't understand it. It's something he is unfamiliar with. However, I beg my friends to do whatever possible if my obsessions ever go that far.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Social Life killed the Internet
I find it interesting how every time I come home for break, I spend less time on the Internet. It's not like I don't have access to it or anything because I do. I'll admit for me it's a bit strange when I realize that I haven't been on Tumblr or tweeted much within the past 3-4 weeks now. I still frequent Facebook and really that's the only Internet site I visit often now. I don't even visit YouTube that much anymore. I'm way behind on my subscriptions (although I'm slowly trying to watch them all again). I feel like I barely know what's going on anymore with my Internet friends since I don't really visit the Internet much anymore.
I think a lot this has to do with the fact that I'm with family and therefore have people to socialize with. I love my family a lot. I believe that because I'm alone in my apartment and don't really have any friends there in Denton that I would rather spend all my time online with my URL friends. I consider the Internet to be my only friend sometimes when I'm in Denton. I have some IRL friends but they live in Norman so it's not like I can just call them up and they can come over or I go over there any time of day I want. It usually takes some advanced planning. Oddly enough, I met my IRL friends through the Internet.
I wish I did have some IRL friends in Denton but I don't. Therefore I resort to the Internet. Even with my IRL friends, we get together and have a great time but somehow we always come back to the internet. Once when we were hanging out together we had our laptops and were looking at stuff online.
I love spending time with people and I do miss the Internet when I'm spending time with my family. However, it's not as important for me. It's strange but true. I get so far behind on all things Internet that I feel lost and out of the loop when I finally do get online. I have already said that I have issues when it comes to making friends.
It's not like I even have a lot of friends here back home to hang out with. Most of my high school friends/classmates have moved on and I've lost touch with them. Also, the friend I used to hang out with that I met 2 summers ago moved to Portland. I just mostly spend time with my family.
This month I've been mostly spending time with my nephew. Since he's 12 and can't go to the Recreation Center camp program anymore, I get to take care of him.
I love him and love spending time with him. We have fun together and I enjoy it. So he's been keeping me busy that I usually don't get online until later in the evening after he's finally gone to bed. Also sometimes in the evenings, he and I have been playing the Wii . So that's been keeping me busy too.
I miss the Internet. I can't deny that. However, I also enjoy spending time with actual people even if it is just my family. I miss having a social life and not feeling lonely. I don't want a social life that completely takes me away. Just enough of one that I'm not resorting to the Internet as my only friend. On the other hand, I love my Internet life and don't want to lose that. If I could find a good balance, I think I'd be happy.
I think a lot this has to do with the fact that I'm with family and therefore have people to socialize with. I love my family a lot. I believe that because I'm alone in my apartment and don't really have any friends there in Denton that I would rather spend all my time online with my URL friends. I consider the Internet to be my only friend sometimes when I'm in Denton. I have some IRL friends but they live in Norman so it's not like I can just call them up and they can come over or I go over there any time of day I want. It usually takes some advanced planning. Oddly enough, I met my IRL friends through the Internet.
I wish I did have some IRL friends in Denton but I don't. Therefore I resort to the Internet. Even with my IRL friends, we get together and have a great time but somehow we always come back to the internet. Once when we were hanging out together we had our laptops and were looking at stuff online.
I love spending time with people and I do miss the Internet when I'm spending time with my family. However, it's not as important for me. It's strange but true. I get so far behind on all things Internet that I feel lost and out of the loop when I finally do get online. I have already said that I have issues when it comes to making friends.
It's not like I even have a lot of friends here back home to hang out with. Most of my high school friends/classmates have moved on and I've lost touch with them. Also, the friend I used to hang out with that I met 2 summers ago moved to Portland. I just mostly spend time with my family.
This month I've been mostly spending time with my nephew. Since he's 12 and can't go to the Recreation Center camp program anymore, I get to take care of him.
I love him and love spending time with him. We have fun together and I enjoy it. So he's been keeping me busy that I usually don't get online until later in the evening after he's finally gone to bed. Also sometimes in the evenings, he and I have been playing the Wii . So that's been keeping me busy too.
I miss the Internet. I can't deny that. However, I also enjoy spending time with actual people even if it is just my family. I miss having a social life and not feeling lonely. I don't want a social life that completely takes me away. Just enough of one that I'm not resorting to the Internet as my only friend. On the other hand, I love my Internet life and don't want to lose that. If I could find a good balance, I think I'd be happy.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thoughts on Teenage Moms...(Warning: May be controversial)
Tonight at my church we had a Baptismal during the usual 5:30PM mass. It was pretty much any normal Baptismal. I knew the family that was having the baby baptized but didn't think much of it until later when I really got to looking at exactly who the mother of the baby was. Turns out the mother of the baby was someone who was way younger than me. In fact, the girl is younger than her older brother who just graduated from high school! I'm not going to lie but I was surprised to learn this. Now I'm not going to say that those who attend church or anything are perfect but I still can't helped but be a bit surprised when things like this happen. The family seems to be pretty religious or at least enough that they attend church on a regular basis. I don't attend the same mass as they do since they normally go on Sunday mornings but I've seen them several Sunday's in a row when my parents used to do Sunday morning coffee and donuts.
This isn't the first girl I've known through church to become a mother. The other one happened a little over a year ago. Again, another girl whose family attended church fairly regularly and who was also quite a bit younger than me. Although, this one I saw when she was pregnant and I've seen her with the father. In fact, the girl and her (now) husband and son used to come to church but they don't anymore as far as I know. She was a Senior in high school when she got pregnant. Granted she was practically an adult but still.
I don't consider myself to be a overly religious person. I'm not going to lie but it does surprise me when girls I've known from church get pregnant at a young age. I'm sorry but the fact that they go to church and learn this stuff from their families and still this happens? It just surprises me is all.
I'm not trying to be judgmental but I'm just stating my views on this. I just don't understand why someone would do this? Why would you mess up your life this way? Look, I'm at least happy that both girls are at least trying to do good by it by coming to church and having their children baptized but still. I'm bothered by it regardless of it's someone religious or not. It just really bothers me to see someone I have seen since I little be affected by this. It just doesn't make sense to me. For me it's awkward to see them. I still talk to them and everything but I can't help but want to ask them why? What happened? W(I don't obviously don't but I just get the urge to do so). I guess part of it is rebellion in some cases but still. I just don't understand it is all.
Of course, I'm sure a lot of this stems from my feelings about not being interested in meeting someone and starting a family. I'm really not interested at all at the moment. Right now I'm so focused on achieving my goal of getting a Master's Degree that I'm not even thinking about things like that right now. It's hard for me just to hear about some of my high school classmates that are married or have kids. As I've stated numerous times before, I know I'm old enough for things like this but it's hard for me to see it that way. I guess I just don't feel anyone my age is ready for kids or marriage even though it's not really that uncommon.
Look I'm not trying to start anything here or anything. I'm just saying my thoughts on something like this is all.
EDIT: Ok so after some research (oh how I love being a library student), I discovered that the girl that had her baby baptized tonight is actually older than I thought. I thought she was the youngest of her siblings but it turns out she isn't. She's about a year older than her brother that just graduated. Apparently she graduated a couple of years ago (2009). So technically she's only a few years younger than me. I'm not going to go back and edit this whole thing now. My thoughts still stand for a general sense.
This isn't the first girl I've known through church to become a mother. The other one happened a little over a year ago. Again, another girl whose family attended church fairly regularly and who was also quite a bit younger than me. Although, this one I saw when she was pregnant and I've seen her with the father. In fact, the girl and her (now) husband and son used to come to church but they don't anymore as far as I know. She was a Senior in high school when she got pregnant. Granted she was practically an adult but still.
I don't consider myself to be a overly religious person. I'm not going to lie but it does surprise me when girls I've known from church get pregnant at a young age. I'm sorry but the fact that they go to church and learn this stuff from their families and still this happens? It just surprises me is all.
I'm not trying to be judgmental but I'm just stating my views on this. I just don't understand why someone would do this? Why would you mess up your life this way? Look, I'm at least happy that both girls are at least trying to do good by it by coming to church and having their children baptized but still. I'm bothered by it regardless of it's someone religious or not. It just really bothers me to see someone I have seen since I little be affected by this. It just doesn't make sense to me. For me it's awkward to see them. I still talk to them and everything but I can't help but want to ask them why? What happened? W(I don't obviously don't but I just get the urge to do so). I guess part of it is rebellion in some cases but still. I just don't understand it is all.
Of course, I'm sure a lot of this stems from my feelings about not being interested in meeting someone and starting a family. I'm really not interested at all at the moment. Right now I'm so focused on achieving my goal of getting a Master's Degree that I'm not even thinking about things like that right now. It's hard for me just to hear about some of my high school classmates that are married or have kids. As I've stated numerous times before, I know I'm old enough for things like this but it's hard for me to see it that way. I guess I just don't feel anyone my age is ready for kids or marriage even though it's not really that uncommon.
Look I'm not trying to start anything here or anything. I'm just saying my thoughts on something like this is all.
EDIT: Ok so after some research (oh how I love being a library student), I discovered that the girl that had her baby baptized tonight is actually older than I thought. I thought she was the youngest of her siblings but it turns out she isn't. She's about a year older than her brother that just graduated. Apparently she graduated a couple of years ago (2009). So technically she's only a few years younger than me. I'm not going to go back and edit this whole thing now. My thoughts still stand for a general sense.
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