I just got a couple of memories in my mind today that I felt like writing down. One memory is good and happy while the other one, not so happy. Just some memories that randomly popped into my mind.
First the happy one. I remember when I was younger playing with the granddaughter of the lady who lived across the street. The girl and her family lived in Germany and every so often they would come visit. I guess I would say that the girl and I were friends. She was a few years older than me. She and I would spend time together whenever she would visit and we had fun together.
I remember a game she and I would play. I guess I would describe the game as being Narnia-like. In the room she stayed in I remember that she and I would go into to begin the game. My friend would leave the closet saying that she had to prepare the magic or something like that. After a few minutes, she would open the closet and the room would be "transformed". There was "magical" stuff all over the place. Little things that had not been in the room before. Things that she would use specially for the game. I even remember that she would speak in some sort of accent to add to the game and she would claim that she was "magical".
We would spend time in this "magical" place for awhile and then we would have to go back, usually by then, I'd have to return back home. We would go back in the closet and the process would be reversed. Everything would return back to normal.
I remember trying to create something like this on my own. Trying to re-create/invent my own version of the game and trying it out with my friends. It wasn't the same although my other friends seemed to enjoy it. I think I only did this twice before giving up. Still it's a fun memory.
The other memory isn't so happy for me.
It's a memory from my first semester of my Senior year of High School. It was in my Economics and Government class and it was one of the first few days. I don't remember if it was the first day exactly but it was certainly during the first week of classes.
My teacher wanted us to learn a little more about each other by playing a sort of game. We had to silently pick someone to keep an eye on while she asked a series of questions. There were four choices to each question and to answer we would each go to one of four corners. So basically a version of "four corners". The way you answered the questions related a bit to your personality and what type of person you tended to be. The questions were pretty interesting and it was interesting to see which classmates shared the same interests as you. It was actually kinda fun. At least if was for awhile.
Then my teacher asked a question about pets. Well I've never had a pet. Ever. It's not that I haven't wanted one. My parents never got one for me. I wanted a cat and have wanted one for a long time. But I still didn't have a pet of any type.
There was a corner for dog owners, a corner for cat owners, a corner for various pets (birds, turtles, fish, etc.), and then a corner for people with no pets. I asked if you actually had to own a pet or if it could be the pet you wished you had. But my teacher said it was the pet you actually had. Since I had no pets, I ended up in the corner for "no pets".
It was embarrassing because I was the only one in the class that didn't have one. I hated it. I hated standing out for that reason. I remember just feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I remember feeling like I was turning red. It wasn't my fault I didn't have a pet. Given the choice I would have been with the rest of the cat people but my teacher wouldn't let me.
What made me feel even worse was the fact that my teacher read the description for what a "no pet" person was likely to become. It said that I was likely to become the type of person who lived alone in a white sofa/carpet environment that would yell at kids for messing up my perfect coach with grape juice or something. I hated that description and honestly I remember feeling so embarrassed and upset that I actually broke down in tears.
I hated that description because I felt like it wasn't me at all. The thing is that my teacher thought it was funny. She joked about it. But I didn't see it as very funny. In turn, I think it was because of this that I felt a bit of resentment towards her. The way she handled the whole situation just wasn't a good way. I really didn't like her much to begin with but I think this so called "game" just really soured things for me.
I guess what really bothered me was the fact that the game singled me out like that. I hated being singled out, I guess. Perhaps it's partly because of being left out of things when I was younger. The whole thing with Girl Scouts. Maybe that's why I was so bothered by it. I was left out and because I was basically alone, everyone was looking at me and I hated that. I guess in a way I also felt it would give my classmates a reason to make fun of me too even though none of them did.
Still, I know that was a fear I had. Then the description my teacher gave for people with "no pets" didn't help much. I felt ashamed for not having a pet when everyone else did.
Even now, I still don't have a pet. I want one and plan to eventually get one. I would like a cat and have plans to get one at some point in the future. I know it'll probably help me to have a pet. Especially now with things going on in my life.
Anyways, just a couple memories that I wanted to mention that I had on my mind.
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