I was going to include this list in my posting on counseling but the other post turned out to be quite long enough on it's own (when I write, I really write). So I decided to split it up.
I've already admitted that I have problems and that I'm hopefully on the way to fixing them. By all means, these are the only problems I've had. I've had and still have others. Some have been fixed and other haven't. Some have appeared now that others are out of the way. In some way, many are related both to past and current problems.
Current problems:
Fear of bugs/roaches
I have an extreme fear that seems to have gotten worse since I moved here to Denton. It's not a new fear by all means. I've had this fear for a long time. I just haven't had to deal with it much on my own until I moved out on my own. I think I was spoiled in Oklahoma because I rarely had any problems. Now I've seen so many and have had episodes where I've freaked out so much that I couldn't sleep. My fear is extreme because I cry and scream hysterically. I get sweaty and hot and my heart beats so fast. I of
run away and sometimes get all shaky. My fear has kept me awake a couple of times at night because I saw them. I can't even stand the sight of dead ones. I can't even get near them to kill them or pick them up. It's that bad. It's gotten to the point though that I have to learn to deal with them. I need something to help me overcome this fear.
Social Anxiety
I have mentioned this before I think. I've finally starting admitting this to myself just recently. It makes sense. I avoid social situations a lot of times. I don't like it. It's such that I can't even introduce myself to some new neighbors of mine. They moved in over the summer and live in the apartment next to mine.All I know is that they are students and are supposedly from Africa. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my parents and now they won't stop pestering me to go introduce myself. They can't understand why it's so hard for me. I want to be more social able but I feel I can't be. Social situations make me uncomfortable and I'd just rather avoid them.
Lack of motivation for classes/ procrastinating
This is a fairly new problem. The procrastinating isn't new by all means but it seems to be part of the problem. This semester I've just not been motivated to get going with my classes. I haven't really made any effort to work on my assignments or anything. When I finally do work on my assignments, it's almost too late. Basically I procrastinate because I just don't have the motivation to do them early enough. I don't seem to want to do them. It's not like my classes aren't interesting to me or anything. It's just that I don't seem to want to get back into them or something. This is a new problem. I don't know what's going on. I've had times where I waited too long to do assignments but I managed to get them done. Now I don't seem to care to get them done or even get started on them. I have a 15 page maximum paper due on Tuesday which involves some researching. Have I started on it? Nope. I've barely looked at the assignment instructions. I really don't know what's going on with me. I don't know if I'm just burnt out or what. Regardless, I need to get this problem fixed soon or I risk almost failing this semester.
Incident with neighbor
While this issue has been dealt with last semester, it's still a lingering problem. There's still some things I need to deal with. It's not as bad as it was last semester but I still have unfinished business with the problem. It's not going to go away anytime soon. What happened traumatized me. It still has an effect on me and my current living situation. I'm still worried about being seen by him. I shut myself away in my apartment and limit my ventures outsides whenever the neighbor is around. So yes, there is still some things that need to be dealt with regarding this issue.
These are the issues I have presented to my counselor this time. These are the things I want/need to work on. Hopefully, I can get help for these and start working them out. I know it's not going to be easy and it'll take some time. I don't know if my counselor will be able to help me out with all of them but hopefully he'll be able to find someone who can even it means long-term counseling.
I'm at least admitting I have these problems and I am ready to do something about them. Admitting my problems is just the first step.
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