Cross the Bridge or Fade Away?

Today was yet another session. Yet more things to think about. It was discussed that I seem to be on the fence about a lot of things and especially about change. I'm a bit concerned that maybe my counselor thinks he can't do much else if I'm not willing to change. I am but also not. It's complicated. One thing is certain is that because I'm currently in short-term counseling and only have 8 sessions available, he feels as though I might want to seek long-term counseling at the Psychology Clinic on campus which I've already set in motion. This is also one reason I sought counseling in the first place, to get information on other resources.

However it was during our conversation about me being on the fence about changing that I thought  about a different analogy. In talking about the fence, my counselor also mentioned something about a bridge. This made me think of a song by one of my all time favorite music artists: Elton John.  In his last album, there is a song titled "The Bridge". This song has always held special meaning for me but now it holds even more meaning after this session. I told my counselor about the song and he seemed interested.

The Fence analogy made me think about a bridge and this song and especially the chorus lyric:" Do you cross the bridge or do you fade away?"  
That's what I need to decide about my life. Do I decide the change or just let it go? Or do I just
stay in the middle of that bridge forever? Crossing the bridge seems scary to me and I'm not sure if I'm ready to do so yet.

I've seen the bridge and the bridge is long
And they built it high and they built it strong
Strong enough to hold the weight of time
Long enough to leave some of us behind

My bridge certainly is long and difficult. At times it may seem like it'll crumble at any moment but it remains strong standing the weight of time leaving some of us behind. I don't want to be left behind. I want to continue on it and eventually cross it.

Standing on the bridge looking at the waves
Seen so many jump, never seen one saved
On a distant beach your song can die
On a bitter wind, on a cruel tide
 
Many people simply give up and don't ever bother trying. If I don't try I might as well jump into the waves. End everything and just remain stuck. I can't give up, I have to try and change.

And the bridge it shines
Oh cold hard iron
Saying come and risk it all
Or die trying

Do I though? Do I truly risk it all if it means that my life drastically changes for the better? Do I die trying just making those small steps across it? That might sound morbid but it's really not. It just means that it's not going to be easy. I know it won't be. I know I have to make those small steps even if they mean it's difficult.


And every one of us has to face that day
Do you cross the bridge or do you fade away
And every one of us that ever came to play
Has to cross the bridge or fade away

 Perhaps today is my day to face the bridge and decide whether or not to cross it.  Everyone has to face it at some point. Perhaps now it's my turn. I can either cross it or just fade away, fall back into my despair, remaining stuck in the life that I'm so unhappy with.


I don't really know if this post really makes a lot of sense or not.  The point is that I have to be the one to decide whether to move forward or not. It's me who has to decide to take those small steps to crossing the bridge.

 

The song truly is wonderful and has a strong message that everyone should hear.