Progress

Ok so as I write this, I'm really supposed to be working on my Final Project but instead here I am writing another blog post even though I've already posted one earlier today.

For one thing, something happened tonight that showed that I'm definitely making progress in my therapy sessions and I wanted to share that with you here.

First of all, my final project for my Creating Online Content for Youth Services is due on Thursday. I also have a final paper due then as well. Since the two go hand-in-hand though, it's not such a big deal. The final paper is basically a recap of creating our Final Project.

Being that this is a final project, stress levels are a bit high. This also being my final Final Project of my educational career it adds a little more pressure. After this project, it'll probably be a long time before I ever have another project for school to finish, if I decide to go back to school that is.

For my final project, I’m supposed to be developing an online course which includes all these components similar to an actual online college class (or at least in my case) but the problem is that my idea is meant for college students in a public library setting. In other words, in reality it won’t involve all these components that were are supposed to be including such as a syllabus, grading criteria, etc.

As usual with big projects, I started to get overwhelmed with too much information; trying to take everything in at once.I just don’t really understand how much I’m supposed to be doing in terms of this project. Right now I’m struggling to put together a syllabus.It’s not so much that I don’t understand what we’re supposed to be doing. It’s more like I don’t see how all these would apply for a public library setting.

It got to the point where I was about to break down in tears because I was just so frustrated and confused and stressed out.

But I didn't break down. Instead I stepped away from my computer and tried to get myself to calm down. I took deep breathes trying to use a breathing technique my therapist (and an ex-advisor of mine from Oklahoma State) had given me to use. I also gave myself of bit of a pep talk. Tried to clear my head and figure things out.

It was during this that I recognized what was really causing me to be so stressed. I recognized that it's not the project itself that's causing me the stress. It's really me causing myself to be so stressed.

I know part of my struggle is coming from me over thinking things and from my perfectionist nature. I’m wanting things to be perfect; trying to make them perfect. I’m over thinking things too much and I just need to calm down and focus on one thing at a time.I’m recognizing that I’m causing myself unnecessary stress by trying to be perfect. I’m letting my perfectionist nature try to take over.

My professor isn’t asking for perfection. She recognizes the fact that it’s not going to be perfect. She not asking me to plan the entire course out entirely. My project doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s not going to be perfect. It just has to be done. 

In terms of my therapy sessions, this is definitely progres. Sure I’m still stressing out but I recognizing it and I’m using strategies to try and calm myself down. At least I’m recognizing this fact. I’m recognizing the fact that I’m getting stressed and I’m trying to calm myself down. I’m recognizing that I’m putting more pressure on myself than there needs to be. I’m recognizing things about myself that are aggravating my stress level.


Before therapy, something like this would have been much worse then it is now. It's taken time but I think I'm finally making progress. What happened tonight proves that I've made progress. I'm recognizing my stress and trying to control it. I'm trying to change my thinking.

Thanks to therapy, I'm able to do this now.

A sign that progress is being and has been made.

Little steps.

A bit of a small victory but a victory nonetheless.