My mental health

I've told you all that I'm in therapy. I've told you why I'm in therapy. I've told you the full story of one of the reasons why. I've told you about my first sessions and pretty much about all if that since. I've covered almost everything I think I can say about therapy and related topics at this point and yet I still find things to talk about regarding counseling and therapy.  Then there's the fact that each week I go in for a session and it brings up some more thoughts. Some more things to consider.

However, I'm not sure if I've ever specifically talked about my mental health in general here. I know I've mentioned it on my Writing Tumblr (which by the way if any of my readers here are on Tumblr as well and what to read more of my writing you can follow me here: http://aformofexpression.tumblr.com )

Forgive me if I've already talked about this on here already. With the increasing number of posts, I don't have a lot of time to go back and read to see what's already been covered and what hasn't.

Lately I've been thinking about my mental health in general. I've admitted that I've had mental health problems to people or at least I admit that I'm in therapy for mental health issues. I'm not ashamed of this.  By admitting that I'm in therapy, I'm admitting that I'm having problems with my mental health and that I know I need help. That I'm doing the responsible thing by seeking help. That I'm concerned for myself and my own well-being

No one told me to seek therapy. I made the decision on my own. I knew I could no longer handle things on my own.

In a questionnaire survey for my chiropractor, they asked questions regarding mental health and I answered them as honestly as I could. To me, it almost makes it seem as though answering the questions the way I did makes me seems as though I'm someone who has some serious issues regarding mental health.

At this point, when it comes to people asking about or wondering about if I have any mental health issues, I admit it. It's weird because I've never really thought about me having to admit it before. I've never really though of myself as being someone that would have mental health problems.

Yet, I still tend to admit it even though I don't really feel like I really have mental health issue. Well not really any serious mental health issues that would interfere with me being able to perform certain tasks or anything like that. I feel as though my mental health issues aren't even things that really interfere with my normal life. I feel as though I can mostly lead a normal life; function quite normally.

I have struggles and yes, there are some things that trigger some of my problems but really, I'm able to function despite everything. My mental health issues, in my opinon, aren't that serious.

I want to be honest with people though. I want them to know that I'm struggling with some mental health issues but at the same time, I don't want people to take it to the extreme. Yes, I am struggling with things but I'm still doing fine. In other words, if you were to just look at me, you couldn't tell that I was struggling. I don't show it or at least I try not to show it.

Lately too, when people talk about struggling with mental health issues like anxiety and depression, I feel as though I can relate to them. Posts that ask you to reblog or share if you have depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, etc. or any mental health issue,  I feel as though I have to reblog. I feel like I relate to these posts.

I've already admitted to have social anxiety. I've struggled with other problems yet not enough to really be diagnosed with them. Yet, I do have mental health problems even if they aren't that severe. After all, I'm in therapy for a reason.

Basically my mental health isn't all that great. It's not a severe as other people, in fact in comparison, I'd say it was fairly tame. But it's still at a point where it would do me more harm if I wasn't in therapy. My mental health is at a fragile point that who knows where I'd be right now if I hadn't sought therapy. 

I feel as though my mental health is in the middle. It's not severe yet at the same time, it's not all that simple.

Let me put it this way: I've been in therapy at the Psychology Clinic for over a year now. Recently my therapist asked me if I was planning on continuing therapy when I moved back home. If she didn't think I'd be ok without therapy or didn't need it anymore, I don't think she would have asked.  She obviously thinks I'd do better to continue therapy; that I need to continue.

However at the same time, my problems aren't that fragile or that high-priority that my last therapist couldn't give me up as a client. She had to make choices and I'm sure while it wasn't easy to let my case go she had other clients that were at a point where it would have done more harm to have them switch therapists. Perhaps she felt that I was someone who could adjust to the switch without too many problems. Maybe she might even have had a part in recommending who to take on my case when she couldn't this semester.

My mental health issues are real. Completely real. I can't just "get over them". These are things that aren't all that simple to fix. Obviously my problems are more complex since I'm still in therapy even after all this time. My problems weren't something that could be fixed with short-term counseling since they recommended me to the Psychology Clinic. Instead of only taking a semester it's taken me over a year and longer. 

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

This is all happening in my head and yes, it is real. What's inside my head is completely real.