Who am I trying to prove things to?
Why am I so afraid of failing?
These are the questions I’m supposed to reflect on over this week for therapy.
Questions that I don’t really have answers to. Questions that I’m not
even sure I’ll ever really know the answers to.
Yep I'm supposed to find answers for them. What answers?
Another session of therapy today and I felt like a lot was covered today. Certainly a lot of questions were asked.
Why am I different?
Why do you think those girls thought you were weird?
Are there other times I've felt a certain way?
A lot of questions. Questions that are meant to give my therapist more insight to my problems. Questions that I feel that I don't always have answers to. I often feel as though I can't always figure out why I have these problems. Which is really part of the problem, I think.
Certainly if I had all the answers, I'm sure I wouldn't be having nearly as many problems.
The answers are few. The questions many. I struggle to find the answers. To figure out what exactly to say.
All these questions are legitimate questions. They make sense why my therapist is asking them. They make me think.
Yet still, the answers are lacking. I think about the questions so much and yet I still don't end up with much more of an answer than I started out with.
Where am I supposed to find the answers? Will I ever find them?
More questions. Not enough answers.
I honestly don't know who I'm trying to please. Is it me? Is it my family? Who is it? It's been like this for a long time. I guess I just feel like I have to please someone even when I don't.
Why am I so afraid of failing?
Again, I don't know. I've just always been someone who has tried to be the best I can be. I hate to fail for some reason.
The more I seem to think about such things, the more questions I come up with and even fewer answers.
**On a positive note, at least I managed to stay more in control of my emotions this week. I mean I did break down but not nearly as much as I have in previous sessions**
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