Self--defense

There's is a women's self-defense course being offered through the Parks and Recreation. It's scheduled to take place at North Lakes Recreation Center.

Today I went in to sign up for the class which is scheduled to begin on Monday. However, they ended up having to put me on a waitlist due to the fact that only 3 people were registered so far.  There's a really good chance that this first class won't make the numbers needed to hold the class.

Which is upsetting for me. There's still other self-defense classes offered for later but I was hoping to attend this first one.

I've been really interested in taking a self-defense class. I've been wanting to take one for some time but just never have. My family has recommended that I take one too.

I feel like I should especially after what happened. The thing is that I need this class.  After what happened, I can't help be feel leery about people. I get nervous a bit more now I feel.

I can't help but think if I had already taken a self-defense course before, would things have been different. The thing is that I was taken advantage of by someone. Thankfully nothing serious happened.

However, I can't help but think sometimes if something worse could have happened. As much as it causes me anxiety to even think about what happened. It causes me to feel guilty and a whole range of emotions. The whole thing traumatized me. 

I still find it difficult to talk about what happened to people. Although it has gotten a bit easier the more I do talk about it.

I do wonder though if something worse could have happened. Perhaps this was just the first step.  I don't know.

The fact is that I felt like I was taken advantage of which gives me even more motivation for wanting to take a Self-defense class.  I honestly just don't feel very safe anymore after that. I feel like I can't trust any random guy that comes up to me. I get nervous whenever I'm in a parking lot somewhere and a solo guy happens to be close by to me.

The thing is I feel like I need this class to help me get over some of my fears. To help me feel better; help me feel safer.  To help me finally not feel so helpless.

I also feel that by taking a self-defense class, that maybe it will help me with my confidence issues. Maybe by learning some of the things to defend myself, I will also gain confidence.

 I hope this class makes or that I can attend the next one. I really need this class and not only for the self-defense.