Peer Mediation

I think I mentioned that back in middle school, I was a peer mediator in middle school. It happened in 7th grade. I'm not entirely sure how this came to be but I ended up being one.

I think it had to do something with the teachers nominating you for such a position.  Like you had to have certain qualities to be considered.

Whatever the reasoning, I became a peer mediator. This basically meant that I would help resolve problems between students before things got too physical. I went through training to learn the best ways to solve conflicts and I would use those same techniques in situations.  Usually the two students that were having problems would go to the counselor's office to make a request for mediation.  Depending on the severity of the situation, the counselor's would either take care of the problem or else they would have us peer mediators handle things.

I remember handling a few situations during that year. There were always 2 of us peer mediators and we would always listen to both sides of the story. We made sure each student had the opportunity to speak without interruption and then after hearing both sides of the story. Us mediators would come together and along with the two students, work out a solution.

The situations were never extremely complicated. Mostly a misunderstanding. As I didn't really become a mediator until later in the year, I really didn't have many situations that I dealt with.  Still though, I felt I handled conflicts fairly well.

Little did I know my real test was yet to come.

I don't remember if I continued being a mediator in 8th grade but I might have. I don't remember if the program was still in place by then but if it was, I don't think I was part of it anymore. Perhaps it was a 7th grade only thing. Who knows?

I do remember though I went to counseling a lot in 8th grade.  Mostly I went because I was frustrated by my friends. I was always seemed to be put in the middle of fights and I hated it! Sometimes I was involved in fights.  I didn't know how else to handle some of the situations so I ended up going to the counselors to see if they could help.  They would help me mediate some of the issues between my friends and I. I just remember being tired of all the fights and sometimes wishing I could just disappear for a while, just so I didn't have to deal with them anymore. (Which of course worried my friends).

I remember a few times thinking and even joking, that I spent more time mediating my own fights and my friends fights than those of other people.

I felt like I could handle other people's problems better than I could handle my own and honestly, I still feel that way sometimes today.

Who would have thought that me mediating other student's conflicts back in 8th grade would lead me to having problems mediating my own conflicts? It almost seems counterproductive. You would think that with the training I had received in handling conflicts, I'd be better able to figure out solutions for my own. Don't think I didn't try. Of course it didn't exactly help that some of those friends were also peer mediators themselves.

I guess I'm just not good at handling conflicts unless they are someone else's.