Today I went on campus. I was told to get out of my apartment and go to campus at least twice this week by my counselor. So that is why I am currently sitting in the Willis library typing this blog. Honestly, I don't know why I'm here. I don't have any real need to come to campus so I don't. I know what my counselor is trying to get me to do and it makes sense but still it seems a bit pointless to me. I can't help but look around at some of these students. Sure I may dress like them and look like I belong with my laptop and notebooks and backpack, but honestly I don't feel like I'm part of them.
Despite the fact that I don't feel like belong in terms of the people, I do feel like I belong here in the Library Environment itself. Despite the fact that I've never really spent time here at the Willis Library, it hasn't taken me long to feel comfortable.I love libraries and books. That's why I'm working to be a librarian. Libraries are just comforting to me. There's just something about going into any library that makes me feel calm and happy. There's just something about a library that just gets me excited. I love it!
Now I don't consider myself to be a very organized person. In fact I'd have to say the opposite. I'm not exactly a messy person but I'm not obsessive compulsive about things having to be in a certain place either. If there's one thing that is organized and stays organized at least in my apartment, it's my bookshelves. I love books and their smell.I love the smell of both brand new books and used books. They each are unique smells. One is the smell of a book just waiting to be loved and read and start it's journey. The other is the smell of a book that's been read many times and is passed on to share it's tale with someone else. I love the smell of the books in a library too.
Pretty much everything about a library is comforting to me. Even the quietness. The silence of a library is much different than say the silence of a classroom during an exam. It's almost hard for me to explain the silence in words. It's the sound of a book waiting to be taken off it's shelf and read. It's the sound of someone researching.
Books and libraries are my friends. Perhaps the reason I feel so comfortable and happy in a library is because I've never had a lot of friends. I guess that's why I spent so much time in a library as a teen. I hung out at libraries. Instead of socializing and dealing with the obnoxious noise of the Commons in the morning before school, I'd usually go to the library and hang out there. It was quieter there and my friends and I could chat without having to practically yell or finish up some homework or look for a book. It was a place where I felt happiness. It helped that I knew the librarian too. Sometimes I'd talk to her and a few times, she'd let me help her out. The reality was that for me, libraries and especially books were my escape. My way of feeling like I belonged somewhere. I certainly never felt like I belonged with my friends. I frequently felt like an outsider and frequently had trouble making and keeping friends. The library welcomed me. Books never made fun of me. They never let me down. They were always there for me. In short, compared to the friends I had growing up, books were much better friends for me (and still are at times).
This probably makes me a library nerd and I'm ok with that fact. Libraries are awesome! :)
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