So I was watching a video on YouTube talking about how this month there is a surge of videos and vlogs as part of Vlog Every Day April or Video Every Day in April. Similarly, there are a lot more blog posts as well for Blog Every Day April. This also happens in August. It just depends on which month you chose to do. I've generally done April simply because I have more time and because that's what it originally started out as being.
Anyway, the video I watched got me thinking about the whole quantity vs. quality thing again. I've talked this previously but it tends to come up again every time I do BEDA. There's the issue of lack of quality simply because the quantity is more. That good quality videos or in my case blog posts aren't nearly as important. That people simply focus more on the quantity during such month-long challenges.
However I don't necessarily feel that's case for my blog. At least not this year. I feel like I'm still providing quality blog posts. Posts that I'm proud about. I think it helps that I've been blogging more to begin with. Basically every since I started going to therapy I've found myself needing an outlet of some sort. Just somewhere where I could express my inner thoughts and feelings again.
Like I've also said before, writing is also a form of therapy for me. So even though I'm in one type of therapy I feel like I have another one to supplement it. Writing has pretty much been a way for me to express myself and a way to comfort myself. When things have been difficult, I've turned to writing and it's helped me get through the hard times. For instance during my 8th and 9th grade years. I turned to poetry back then and some regular writing as a way to deal with everything. Sometimes I honestly think that if it wasn't for writing, things would have been a lot more difficult for me. As it was, it was still extremely difficult for me.
I've just been writing more as sort of my own individual form of therapy. My number of posts have increased but I feel like I'm still presenting fairly quality posts. At least I'm trying to. I realize that sometimes my posts aren't always too exciting but I try. It helps that I tend to have a lot on my mind. Well, I have had a lot on my mind lately.
I honestly feel that part of that is because of me going to therapy regularly. While I feel like my mind is always thinking about something and has even before I began going to therapy, I feel as though going to therapy has made me think more about things. It's given me more insight and has helped me better formulate my thoughts about why things are the way they are. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it or even if it makes much sense.
So why am I doing BEDA then? Like I said, I wasn't exactly planning to. I just happened to post a blog on the first day of the month and then I had something else on my mind the 2nd day and just decided to make an attempt. I've so far managed to stick to it and now I only have 8 more days left. For me it's been a challenge. It's a writing challenge but one that I've happily taken up.
Perhaps my quality has diminished but somehow I don't think it has. I look at some of the things I've posted so far this month and I know I would've blogged about some of the thing even if I hadn't taken on the challenge of writing each day this month. I still would have had several blog posts this month regardless.
While I feel like my daily life isn't all that exciting, I still seem to find something to blog about. This year at least, which is certainly an improvement over previous years. Again, I can attribute this to being in therapy. While we certainly discuss a lot of things, we can't cover everything. I guess that's why I turn to blogging. I've certainly noticed a bit of a pattern in terms of when I've been posting some of my blog posts. They tend to be on the days I've been to therapy.
Therapy is meant to get you thinking (or at least it gets me thinking) about things. Even afterwards, I'm still thinking about things. Sometimes these thoughts get all jumbled and I need to get them organized somehow so I blog about them. They could be fleeting thoughts or they could be things I think about for days or even weeks. Sometimes these thoughts come back to me at random moments. Whatever the reason that leads me to blog, I don't try to stop it. I learned a long time ago not to try and suppress my need to write or blog. If it helps me (and it does) I should just go for it. If that means writing every day for a month than so be it.
I'm not sure what it is about this month that has caused me to have a lot of things on my mind but that's the way it has been and that is basically why I've kept going with BEDA. I'm not writing these posts so much because I have to as part of my daily commitment. I'm writing many of these posts because I need to. It's what's keeping me relatively sane.
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