This week hasn't been too bad but at the same time it's been a bit crazy too. Namely Tuesday was the crazy day. Anyways, I typically tend to be happy it's Friday even if nothing exciting really happens. It's also a holiday weekend which is nice. My excitement of the day consisted of Storytimes at the library. That's been my excitement for this semester. I enjoy Storytime. Today I was the reader for our puppet book. We had a smaller crowd than usual being that it was Good Friday but still a nice sized crowd considering.
Other than Storytime, today I've just been reading some more of Catching Fire. I'm on Chapter 10 now and it's getting really good. I find myself not wanting to put the book down for very long. The anticipation is just too much! I have to know what happens next!! While I'm an avid reader and have read lots of good books, I haven't had this much anticipation reading a book since the last Harry Potter book was released. The eagerness to keep reading to find out what happens next. Just getting so involved with the book. It's an amazing feeling and I love having that feeling back again with a book series. It's wonderful.
I've become addicted to the book series and quite obsessed. Not that that is unusual for me. For me, I typically obsess over things I like. I'm just that way. I can't just like something, I have to obsess over it.
So as usual, my Friday night (and most of the day) hasn't been terribly exciting. It never really is. I'm not a big party person and have never really been that way. Not that it matters though. I'm a nerd. I would much rather enjoy spending my night on the Internet it seems.
My weekends are generally pretty tame unless I'm with my family but even then they are never really that exciting. Most of the weekends are spent watching TV, browsing the Internet, or Reading. Typical things I do during the week. I don't even have a lot of chores really to do (meaning laundry mostly). Because I'm not working or have face-to-face classes, I can get some of my chores done during the week when I'm not at Practicum work. Pretty much my daily activities during the week extend to my weekend activities.
It's not that I don't want to be doing things and getting out more. It's just that I mostly don't have a reason to. I mean I don't exactly want to go places that require me to spend a lot of money (which I don't exactly have. I'm not an extravagant spender). I also just don't want to go to places that are unfamiliar without someone. I like going to new places with people and just hanging out with people. I could drive into Dallas and go on adventures there but there's not a lot that's different from other big cities. Sure all big cities have History/Science/Art museums and a lot them have big Zoos. While I enjoy these things, it's almost as if you've seen one, you've seen them all type of things. Sure there's Six Flags close by. But I'm really not a Thrill junkie and again it's not much fun on my own.
Then there's the big fact that driving in a big city makes me nervous. I'm not used to it at all. I have a GPS but even that sometimes doesn't help me. I don't like getting lost in an unfamiliar city. I'm from a small city in New Mexico. A city where I couldn't get lost. That had no freeways or anything. Similarly, when I lived in Stillwater, OK although it was certainly bigger.
I'd really love to have a more social life. To be hanging out with friends on the weekend or Friday night. I'm not talking like partying or going out and getting drunk or anything. I'm not even saying we'd have to hit the bars or anything. I'd rather just get together and hang out. Go for pizza or something. Watch a movie either at someone's house or go to the movie theater or even just go bowling. Or play a game at someone's house or whatever. Even if we all just brought our laptops and were on them while we hung out! I just want to be with company.
Those are things I'd love to be able to do on weekends. But alas, I don't have any friends or anything here. I've tried and I've tried hard, believe me, but it just hasn't worked out. Truth be told, I don't think it will work out. Weirdly though I'm starting to be ok with that.
It's not easy. I still get lonely and wish I could be doing something at least a little more exciting on Friday nights and the weekends. But now I'm starting to realize that maybe it's ok for me to not have friends here in Denton. I've only got about a semester left here before I graduate and will be moving on somewhere else. Where that is is a mystery but since I don't have friends here, it won't be nearly as difficult to move when the time comes. Sure I've met people here and have some ties here but they aren't strong ties like friendship. I mean I know the staff at the libraries and they know me. One of my neighbors that used to live in my apartment complex moved away but still she's here. Yet I don't consider them to be friends per say. More like people I just happen to know. It's a bit different with the people at the libraries since I'm an MLS student and have gotten to know them partly because of me being an MLS student. I'll always have ties with them because I'll be looking to them for advice when and if I ever find a job as a librarian myself.
Yet, these lack of friendships here are somewhat of a good thing I feel. It'll be easier for me to move because I don't have anyone here to say goodbye to like I did in Oklahoma or in New Mexico. Saying goodbye is never easy. The other thing is that I won't have really any reason to come back. I've said before how unhappy I am here (mostly because of the lack of friends). Things have happened here that I want to escape and not have to remember.
I guess I just want to fly away and never come back. If that makes any sense. There's nothing really here for me. Nothing holding me back. Once I move away from here, I really doubt I'd ever come back.
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